dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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