i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
