The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize