shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I will be naked everywhere
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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