these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
