coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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