New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
a search helicopter?!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
