In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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