I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
tell me about the eggs
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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