so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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