Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
