Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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