I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
