Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm way too hungover for life right now
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
