therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize