she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
