In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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