at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
