some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle