Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.