Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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