btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.