somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers