You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.