i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
