Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
