i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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