when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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