sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
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Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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