Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize