you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
