I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
vagina is talking i cant
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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