he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
