Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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