You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
