I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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