remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize