he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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