and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
