Best friends brother. Beat that.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
