My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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