i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
