We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't turn off my feet"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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