physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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