Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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