like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
