Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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