Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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