I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
