she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
