I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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