can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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