When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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