4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
