When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
