Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
