If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
