so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The Olympian is in my bed
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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