If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
