watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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