God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
