i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
