Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
