Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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